May 2013 blog challenge–Day 30

Today’s challenge is React to this term: Letting Go

I’ve been wanting to respond to Day 26’s challenge: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

When I think about writing a blog post, it is not the right time, or I’m not in the right place to do so I’ve missed some days on this challenge. Overall, I don’t think I did too terribly bad considering how bad I have been the past year or so.

So let’s see what I can do here

The online article I’d like to share is Helping or hovering? When ‘helicopter parenting’ backfires.

Do you agree with helicopter parenting? Do you understand what helicopter parenting even is?

From what I understand, helicopter parenting to be is a parent that hovers over a child/ren all the time. Never allowing them to do some things. Micro-managing all the other things they do do. Calling teachers when their child doesn’t get a “grade they deserve”, or hopping to it to bring forgotten homework/lunch to school. Talking to potential employers on the child’s behalf. Do the kids’ homework for them.

I don’t feel I’m like this in every area so I can’t decide if I’m a helicopter parent, over-protect parent, or just a parent who is trying to teach the kids right from wrong and have a conscience.

Now, when the kids were in public school, I did not run their homework to them. Nor their PE clothes they’d forgotten, and I really didn’t have an issue with them skipping lunch if they forgot their lunch money, ticket, or sack lunch.

Live and learn, and they got the deduct in grade for not being responsible or prepared. No one ever starved by skipping the occasional meal. But they were quick to remember if they did go a bit hungry.

I always want to know where the kids are, who they are with, and what plans they have going on when they aren’t around home. If they went to a friend’s house, then they all decided to go to another friend’s house, yes, they needed to either stop by home or call, and let me know.

Their friends thought I was nuts and hassled the kids if they insisted they had to say anything.

Thankfully, rarely did they ever cave in to that peer pressure.

That was our biological kids while living in town.

Now living out in the country and our adopted kids….well, things are still the same to a certain degree.

You see, my kids at home didn’t get some of that training in their bio homes, and most definitely not in their foster homes either.

Sometimes they don’t understand why I insist on knowing who, what, where, when, how long, etc. They’ve never had to be accountable for any of that before.

The others I taught manners from birth. These guys are late bloomers. They’ve learned my “signs” from across the room when we are having say…potluck at church and they aren’t sitting with me or down the table from me in a restaurant.

I do have a couple that will take total advantage of misusing their manners if I’m not directly in front of them. But you’d think by now it would be an automatic thing.

<sigh> Old habits die hard.

Other things, I’ve been told I have a cold heart towards.

When they fall outside, I’m not quick to jump up and “rescue” them. If they aren’t bleeding, they don’t get a band-aide.

If they want to change from a preppy like personality to all of a sudden wanting to join the rodeo and ride bulls, I let them.

I definitely don’t go have a conversation with the bull for bucking my son off and stepping on him (THAT was hard to watch and Dave did have to hold me back from running to my son to be sure he was OKay. Dave said that would embarrass him a whole lot more than to be bleeding and broken.)

I didn’t have a panic attack when the other son wrecked on his dirt bike and broke both his tibia and fibula. Nor when he tried to cut his thumb off with a table saw (you should have seen the look on my other son’s face when he pulled up in the driveway, and I told him to go look for Jason’s thumb in the garage and meet us at the hospital LOL).

But I was all over him for eating with his mouth open, or not holding the door open for a lady. Or not making it home by curfew.

Maybe I am a helicopter parent…I just hover a bit higher, but ready to land when and where I need to???

Maybe I’m over-protective too. After all I don’t allow dating until 16. No make-up until 16. No high heels until 16. I’m even OK waiting until they are 17 to get a driver’s license. The girls have to wear skirts below their knees, no wording on the behinds of their jeans/skirts. No bikinis!!!

I have not gone so far as the longer knee to neck over shoulder swimsuits….but I’m tempted. Fortunately, my girls are uncomfortable in suits that reveal too much, so as long as they keep to the modesty to the level they are, I won’t push it further….as tempted as I am to do so.

Maybe this somewhat rolls over to today’s challenge…letting go.

I’m not ready to let go and let the kids grow up all the way. I’m not ready for them to be ready to move out. Although I’m a long ways from an empty nest – again – I’m not ready for it by any means.

We were matched with another sibling group…a group of seven kids. The youngest is only two. I can say we’d be a long ways from an empty nest, but that doesn’t make it any easier letting go  of my almost 19, almost 18, and 17 (today) year olds. I’m not ready to think about that happening soon.

Yes I know I need to be prepared. Yes I know I need to prepare them, and I am, and they’ll be ready, but inside me….I’m not ready to let go any time soon.

I have another year before Jaime (almost 18) will graduate and be off to the police academy (how scary is that!).

Another year after that when Donald (17 in September) will be off doing something big.

Ashley (17 today) won’t be ready for another couple of years but then she’s off to far away lands to be a missionary.

Nicole (almost 19) wants to stay home for a couple more years. She tells me to just keep on adopting kids and she’ll stay home and help me take care of them.

Now THAT I’m all for LOL

So what’s your reaction to “Letting go”?

Are you a helicopter parent? How so?

God’s Blessings

Vickie

May blog challenge–Day 17

OK…another huge challenge!

A favorite photo of yourself and why.

I don’t do well with being in photos. I’m not photogenic either, that’s for sure.

So my favorite photo of myself will have to be this one:

Why?

It is where I got my start in training to be a mom.

I like being a mom.

I believe it has always been my calling in life. Mom even once said that when my baby sister was born (I wasn’t quite 5 then) I claimed her as “MY” baby.

I’ve always been more comfortable around babies and kids.

I began babysitting when I was 12 and my charge was only a year old. By 13, I was watching a sib group of 3, and the baby was a newborn. I’d even take them to church with me when I watched them on Sundays (I was the only one in my family going to church and I’d find the closest one to me to walk too. I had no clue about denominations back then.)

I even babysat a family of 7 kids once. The oldest being only a few months younger than me and was quite upset I was babysitting and she wasn’t. She ran off that night to her friend’s house. That was scary.

I babysat three kids once, twin 6 month old boys and a 2 year old girl. Mom didn’t come home for three days! I was 13/14. I LOVED being the full caretaker for three full days. On Sunday, Mom called the police department (I had to go to school on Monday). They came and interviewed me. Asked me if I’d stay until they got someone there to get the kids. I never saw them again.

I made enough money babysitting that mom stopped buying all my clothes, shoes, and other wants when I was not even 14 as I could afford them myself.

With some of my babysitting money, back in the day when you could send cash in the mail and not have to worry….I sponsored a girl in Honduras. I did that for several months. I inquired about adopting that child. I asked about sending gifts not just money.

My answers all came back as no (I did get info on adoption tho).

I decided that I was no longer comfortable with sending them the money, not sure she was getting any benefits from it, and made it my goal in life to adopt.

Even to the point of thinking I was not even going to “have” my own kids, just adopt them all.

You know the LORD has blessed us with three biological kids. Even blessing us with the first one when I was quite young. By the time I was 20, I had three kids under 3 years of age.

Now, 8 adopted kids later, and waiting on at least 7, possibly 10 more, to come this year….life is good and dreams do come true!

Now you should see the looks we get when we walk into church with our 8 and then sometimes have 4 of the grandkids with us.

Not quite as jaw dropping as walking in with three when I was 13, but still jaw dropping because our family is larger than typical.

I love my life!

God’s Blessings

Vickie

May blog challenge–Day 14

Today’s challenge:

Ten things that make you really happy.

I don’t know that I can stop at only ten, so we’ll see where I get LOL

1. Being a child of God
2. Knowing that I am saved by the Grace of God and not by my own doing
3. My awesome husband, Dave
4. My kids (I won’t list them individually)
5. My grandkids
6. Tacos (OK…most any Mexican dish)
7. Being lost in a good book
8. Adoption
9. Homeschooling
10. Cooking for a crowd (even before our family grew to be a crowd)
11. Rainbows
12. 4-wheeling (had a blast today!!)
13. Hugs and sloppy kisses
14. When my hair is having a good day (natural curls…never know what kind of day they’ll have)
15. Watching kittens play
16. Sewing
17. Crocheting
18. Long drives just because

That’s it for now. I’m sure I could keep going and going and …… so many blessings. So many things make me smile. Most of the time, it is just the little things in life.

Have a blessed evening,

Vickie

May blog challenge–Day 13

Today’s challenge:

Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

I would like to publicly apologize for being a

……..MEAN MOM!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, you had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, you had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess I fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had too (and we had to eat at the table as a family).

I insisted on knowing where you were at all times. You probably thought you were convicts in a prison. I had to know who your friends were and what you were doing with them. I insisted that if you said you would be gone for an hour, you would be gone for an hour or less.

I am ashamed to admit it, but I had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making you work. You had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry (hang it on the line), and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think I would lie awake at night thinking of more things for you to do.

I always insisted on you telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. By the time you were teenagers, I could read our minds.

Then, life was really tough!

I wouldn't let your friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so I could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, I made you wait until you were 16, and mature enough to handle it.

Because of me you missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of you have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing another's property, or ever arrested for any crime.

I made you use your manners in all situations. You had to absolutely respect the elderly and all authority over you.

I made you boys open the doors for us girls. I made the girls let the boys practice their chivalry on them.

I made you boys protect the girls. I wouldn’t let you wrestle in the house.

No crude teasing was allowed. No bullying was permitted.

You weren’t allowed to be on the TV all day every day, and other electronics could be used only on the weekends IF you had a good week.

It was all my fault.

I’m so sorry!

NOT! Hahaha

I believe that's what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms anymore.

And for that, I AM sorry!

May blog challenge–Day 11

Big challenge today! This one is super tough.

Sell yourself in 10 words or less.