So, I found out last night that Nehemiah has been getting up at night and contacting his birth mom.
I have found birth mom on Facebook. So I look in now and again (I’m sure most is set for private but not everything). Nehemiah has a FB page too, and I keep an eye on that as well (he’s not allowed on it so I keep a watch).
Imagine my shock last night when I scrolled thru some of her shared links and see a photo of Nehemiah, taken downstairs in our bathroom, using one of the other kid’s iTouches holding it up to the mirror!! (I’m guessing using facetime or some such thing).
I printed the photo….wrote BUSTED! across the top. Then on the bottom wrote, “Really Nehemiah? You know the deal we had with contact, and you agreed to our terms. This goes against all trust issues.” I then laid it face down on his bed (I haven’t seen him yet this morning).
Our terms, as per the caseworker, is all contact is written and has to go via the caseworker’s office. We will send it to her, she will forward it. And any contact in return has to go the same route. All inappropriate mail will be discarded (or labeled for me to give when the kids are older)
Only Nehemiah and Adam are allowed contact at this time as per our request. The boys are not to let the other kids know they received and/or sent anything.
The caseworker and the boys agreed to these terms..
I thought I had set all electronics with password protection. I forgot to double check every one of them apparently. Partially my fault, but I trusted him/them/all the kids….to stay off the electronics and never get on the internet without my permission.
<Ugh> so at a dilemma as to what to do for punishment.
He’s allowed contact….may not be the way he wants, but is the way the caseworker said it had to be until we finalize, or whatever timeframe we set after that date.
He agreed to the terms.
We told him until he was 18. He said, “Cool! I can deal with that.”
It isn’t so much the contact that has me upset (although that can get us AND her in trouble).
It is the trust.
The promises broken.
I’m open to suggestions.
How would you handle a situation like this with your 15-year-old son?